five lines two rhymes' Journal
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Tuesday, October 1, 2002
There is no truth to the idea that I have spent the last two months at locked up at Camp X-Ray. My apologies (again) on the long delay. The good news is that I am now employed and can actually begin sending out prizes (though I continue to be open for donations through PayPal at HVConstat9@aol.com).
Speaking of prizes, last, um, month’s, goes to Bilal D., for his "topical then, topical now" entry:
A Texan who just couldn't cope,
when the dirt was not cleared by his soap,
thought "This might be wacky,
but if I oust the Iraqi,
it might give big business some hope!"
Made me laugh, it did.
On to this month’s pair of words. For those of you who weren’t here last time, here’s how it works: I will post two words. The Huddled Masses (that’s you), then, will have a month to use those two words to create an original limerick and post it to the site using the comment function below. The best one (funniest, weirdest, whatever), as judged by me, wins a real live prize—a $25 gift certificate from Amazon.com. See the previous entries for any further clarification.
Legalese: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Void where prohibited by law. Entrants are responsible for any taxes that may arise. Entries must be received by 11:59PM Central Time on October 29.
Don't forget to put your e-mail address in there somewhere so I can contact you if you win!
This month’s words are:
THROAT
and
LAIR.
Get to it, and spread the word(s).
JHR
10/1/2002 1:37 AM
Tuesday, July 2, 2002
Time to pick a winner…
Well, I received a good number of entries into the inaugural contest. I apologize for the long delay. To make up for it, I’m extending the deadline on the next contest until July 29 (that’s four weeks). More on that later.
As for the first round, I received a bunch of really fabulous entries, and I thank you all for them. Two, however, really stood out and gave me a hard time choosing a winner, so I did the only honorable thing: I flipped a coin. As such the winner of the inaugural five lines two rhymes contest is Heather S., with her entry:
The majorette’s one rule of thumb
Made her marching band’s drummer feel glum.
She was willing to spoon
(And, he thought, none too soon!)
But he’d still have to beat his own drum.
What can I say, it tickled me. Heather, your prize will be on its way to you as soon as I can afford to send it (donations always graciously accepted via PayPal at hvconstat9@aol.com).
Right, on to this month’s pair of words (extending the contest to a month also allows me time to raise the money for continued prizes). For those of you who weren’t here last time, here’s how it works: I will post two words. The Huddled Masses (that’s you), then, will have a month to use those two words to create an original limerick and post it to the site using the comment function below. The best one (funniest, weirdest, whatever), as judged by me, wins a real live prize—a $25 gift certificate from Amazon.com. See the previous entry (or e-mail me) for any further clarifications.
Legalese: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Void where prohibited by law. Entrants are responsible for any taxes that may arise. Entries must be received by 11:59PM Central Time on July 29.
Don't forget to put your e-mail address in there somewhere so I can contact you if you win!
This month’s words are:
WACKY
and
SOAP.
Get to it, and spread the word(s).
JHR
7/2/2002 2:19 AM
(Confidential to JRS: It's still Monday in, um, Anchorage.)
Monday, June 10, 2002
Welcome to five lines two rhymes!
Here’s how it works: every Sunday night/Monday morning, I will post two words. The general readership, then, will have a week to use those two words to create an original limerick and post it to the site. The best one (funniest, weirdest, whatever), as judged by me, wins a real live prize—a $25 gift certificate from Amazon.com.
(I’m presuming you already know what a “limerick” is.)
This is an idea that occurred to me last week, in association with some online cohorts—I just figured out a way to run with it.
As I said, I am the sole judge, and I’ll laugh at just about anything. But that which makes me laugh most is what wins. In regard to filth…well, let your conscience be your guide. Dirty limericks are certainly acceptable, but not necessarily best. You may use either word for either set of rhymes, but the words given MUST appear as the rhyming words in at least one line each.
Enter as many times as you’d like, using the “comment” function below—but be sure to provide an e-mail address so I can contact you if you win.
Legalese: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Void where prohibited by law. Entrants are responsible for any taxes that may arise. Entries must be received by 11:59PM Central Time on the Sunday following the posting of the words. Et cetera, et cetera. I’ll find real contest boilerplate somewhere and post it at some point.
One last bit before I reveal the first two words: I’m financing this thing out of my own pocket and right now I’m unemployed so the pocket’s pretty thin. Any donations via PayPal (to hvconstat9@aol.com) will be gratefully accepted.
Now, the inaugural rhyme words are:
DRUM
and
SPOON
(Don’t like ‘em? Suggest next week’s below as well.)
Good luck, good rhyming and please, spread the word and tell your friends!
JHR
6/10/2002 3:47 AM
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